you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you will always have a special place in my vag
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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