fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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