Are we in a gay sports bar?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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