I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
