So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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