their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
