every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
