Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
