Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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