this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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