Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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