I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
