guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
