He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
