Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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