Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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