come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize