some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
