:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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