Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Your mouth is God's brothel.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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