gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
