well you can't waste a boner
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
