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some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
