I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize