I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize