It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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