okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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