no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
