It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
