we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
