you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
