I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
