Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
