wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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