Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
