He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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