I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
false alarm, still single
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