I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
