Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
