Screwed.edu
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
