I'm drive I can fine osifer
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
