Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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