The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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