I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
