My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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