I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
