i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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