morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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