I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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