New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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