I am spending my child support on dildos
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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