Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
