All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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