She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
