Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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