dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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