Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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