I think I am morally bankrupt
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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