Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
