we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
