The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
