Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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