Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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